YASAITACHI !!!!!!!!!!!
"Mamak, nasi goreng ayam taknak sayur...ok."
"Mamak, nasi goreng ayam taknak sayur...ok."
LESSON ONE- MENGENAL HURUF NIHONGO... bab ni senang je...ok, sebagai pengenalan, sistem huruf negara2 oriental bolehla dibahagi tige kot-NIHONGO, KOREAN, and CHINESE-CHINESE TRADITIONAL and CHINESE SIMPLIFIED (MODERN)... jadi dalam bab ni aku nak kau kenal pasti beze2 nye ok, kite start dengan KOREAN...
nak kenal pasti senang je, sistem tulisan nye dikenal pasti kalau ade short2 line horizontal atau sebaliknye,n paling penting ade bulat2 kecik, faham? huhu...korean ni senang je nak bleja, tapi kasar sikit kalau nak menyebut nye..haha, rasenye ni kyo-sama tau kot...huhu ok yg kedua plak ialah CHINESE....terbahagi due setahu aku, chinese tradiotional n chinese simplified, ok yg ni kita taknak bicang lanjut tapi ape yg aku nak ckp ialah chinese ni sistem kanji yg die pakai, kanji chinese n jepun ade beze....ade yg same, contoh kanji love, jepun sebut ai, chinese pun sebut ai, cara tulis same juga.... 
nak kenal kanji senang je, kanji ni seketul2, bagi chinese, satu kanji mewakili satu maksud perkataan, bagi japanese plak, satu kanji maybe mewakili certain sukukate je, kadang2 mewakili satu perkataan jugak macam kanji PEDANG yg disebut KATANA, dan hanya diwakili satu kanji.. ape yg boleh dirumuskan, beze japanese ngan chinese ialah chinese hanya ada kanji je,,,,uniknye japanese, ade kanji, katakana and hiragana...lagi satu perlu diingat, hanya certain kanji je japanese n chinese same, yg lain beze. ok yg ketige n last nak bincang mlm ni ialah nihongo.... sistem tulisan nye dibahagi 3, kanji japanese, katakana, hiragana. hari tu kite stop kat LESSON 1-bab pengenalan sistem tulisan jepun kan? ok seperti yg kamu dah tau, sistem tulisan jepun terbahagi 3-HIRAGANA, KATAKANA, and KANJI... OK, bab kanji kite letak tepi dulu...jom fokus pada hiragana n katakana.... ok, sistem kedue2 ni sama, iaitu berdasarkan sukukata. contoh...ARIGATOU, bile dipecahkan ikut sukukata menjadi-A-RI-GA-TO-U. disebabkan arigatou ialah perkataan jepun, maka tulisannya ditulis guna hiragana, berbeza pulak bagi katakana yg digunakan untuk foreign language. contoh buku nota, no-to. bile pecah sukukata jadi N0, and ade sengkang, TO. sengkang(-) hanya ada pd perkataan katakana, maksudnya dibunyikan panjang mcm NOOTO... mari tgk contoh perbezaan hiragana n katakana...(untuk a,e,i,o,u) 
to join a local hip hop crew n be apart of the whole dancing scene.
to noe how to play football n futsal. to actually have a coach to teach me how...
to read news in english in the nightline tv3...huhu
to actually go to Mecca to perform Haj maybe alone coz thats the best...to fully repent (taubah nasuha)
to be a metrosexual male, before that i have to gain the ideal weight of 63kg...haha
actually making frens with my enemies n be closer to them n nice to them n turn them to my frens n change their thoughts towards me as diff from before.
join an episode of bersamamu tv3 just to be more grateful of what i have.
to be a promoter of "say no to racism"...haha
to support people who had aids n give them hope by supporting them.
BLOOD! some cant even see blood for some reasons..some may vomit, some may even fainted! related to phobia of blood. but today i would not talk about that specific phobia but about BLOOD DONATION. so, i bet all of u have already heard of it. its not that u come from outer space, rite? what is blood donation? according to what i read from wikipedia.com, blood donation is of coz a process where blood donor (person to donate one's blood) voluntarily has a blood drawn for storage in a blood bank, generally for subsequent use in a blood transfusion.
In Malaysia, the blood bank here is called Bank Darah Negara. Normally, this Bank Darah Negara or other blood collecting organization such as the St. John's Ambulance, Pusat Perubatan Universiti Malaya, Hospital-Hospital Negeri, and etc, may scheduled some blood donation campaign for maybe 3 to 4 days at certain venue, usually where public is easy to be acknowledge of this campaign. Public places such as shopping complex, universities, colleges, festivals, carnivals and etc.
As for myself, ive already donate blood for four times since my first time in Stamford College in January of 2005. As a first-timer at that moment, definately having a relatively large-bore needle in my vein is the last thing that i could imagine as i believed that im phobia of blood. But when i see almost all of the college students came and donate blood without fear, i try to challeged myself. so, i did. First time was scary....the needle look so damn huge, bigger than the cross-sticth's needle. I believed that this needle in me would be misery but everything turn to be just fine...
As a blood donor, after the process, i was rewarded with a certificate with my name on it (no big deal-kan? it is just a piece of paper!), a cup of hot chocolate, and a muffin, seriusly that muffins tasted better than kenny roger's. My second time was ok too but my third time doesnt turn out to be that easy. A day after that blood donation, my left arm which has a slighty brusing yesterday has swollen n turn purple or blue? huhu...but it is just for maybe 1 to 2 days after that...maybe some minor veins damaged or something.
Some people say that blood donation is a must-not-go event. Maybe due to some bad memories, phobia of blood, lack of time, or other stupid reasons. But try to understand the needs of donating blood, moreover if u have blood from O-type. consider yourself as saviors for who is in need. put more huminity in yourself and challeged your inner part to at least enjoy the hospitality of those great nurses who will certainly calm u down esp when ur first timer. theres nothing to be afraid of...go donate blood now!!
TRY watching via youtube this funny lady named katy brand tried to imitate Lily allen's hit song, smile. (She's a british comedian) and she named that new song of her as THE SUN. huhu, just type "katy brands lily allen impression"... wonderfully played and the song means much to me evendou it is just for comedy...i dont really get the actual lyric for this song but what i can do is try to apply as much possible word and apply to my own life...changed a little bit here n there....huhu, enjoy!!! JUST SING ALONG WITH THE VIDEO....HAHA
MY LIFE (my version)
this is a little song which i wrote,
all about a day in my short life-span,
i get up in the morning, as the clocks ring,
rub my eyes, oh i got a fucking mate,
my life, my life, this is a song of my life,
thats not much going on, but i keep on going on,
i sing about my life, in this song of my life,
you think im gonna cry, and fuck you your wrong,
you wrong, you wrong, yeah your wrong,
my friend brings me up a cup of milo in my bed,
i tell him about my fucking studiomate n their acts,
i want hang out, but i should stay in instead...
"at least u noe better" thats what he said,
my life, my life, this is a song of my life,
thats not much going on, but i keep on goin on,
i sing about my life, in this song of my life,
and if you think im gonna cry, fuck you your wrong,
you wrong, you wrong....
i speak english, i speak malay, im a little bit of chinese,
and ive been to um once,in fact ive been to um twice,
how many times have u been to um?
some may say im GAY or whatsoever,
having a gurlfren to cover things up,
ive couldnt give a shit, im not like that,
i dont really care ya.. i dont really care...
my life, my life, this is a song of my life,
thats not much going on, but i keep on goin on,
i sing about my life, in this song of my life,
and if you think im gonna cry, fuck you your wrong,
you wrong, you wrong....
yeah, i got the full support of my friends,
which is very very important,
so what if i date boys before?
meaning i cant date girls at all?
and if u stay way from me, i dont really care ya..
well i dont give a shit, you noe,
i have other people who loves me and care for me,
better than ur fuck-off face...seriusly
im not joking....
my life, my life, this is a song of my life,
thats not much going on, but i keep on goin on,
i sing about my life, in this song of my life,
and if you think im gonna cry, fuck you your wrong,
my life, my life, this is a song of my life,
thats not much going on, but i keep on goin on,
i sing about my life, in this song of my life,
and if you think im gonna cry, fuck you your wrong,
you wrong you wrong...
coz u noe, i cant help it if the rumours spreads,
well, u can tell the whole world, it doesnt matter,
you noe, coz i noe better, God noes better.....
ok, im over it (break-up) now...then, with God's will, when i was in joe's car that afternoon, he turned on the hitz.fm radio. So at this particular day, a day after all couples celebrate valentines, this particular radio station celebrates pulak the singles by saying to be single is great, you can do what ever u want without bothering to ask anyone's opinion. live ur life without companion. it is cool when the dj said that they all support singles....(terharu-lah) huhu... enough of this crap...
so, today i wanna tell u all about this tegami (letter) that was supposed to be send via email to my japanese language that i love most, Inuoe Sensei...but i dont noe why it was never to be sent... i might be a little bit not good in my japanese, so frens with japanese ability ples notified me if im wrong with my words....huhu...
Inuoe Sensei,
Ohayou Gozaimasu, Konnichiwa, Konbanwa, Oyasumi Nasai..
Kyou wa watashi ga sensei ni emel o shimas. ureshi des watashi wa. kono emel wa watashi ga iroirona koto o hanasu tsumorides. iroirona e mo arimas.
Jitsuwa, watashi wa ayamariru tsumorides, shikashi, kowaides. sensei ni aimasendeshita. sono tame de aru. watashi wa iroiro warui koto o shimashita. sensei he, fazian sensei he, idrus sensei he soshite hokano sensei. warui koto wa nani? tatoeba, nandomo gakkou e ikanakatta, yasunda. watashi mo wakaranai, naze watashi wa gakkou he ikitakunai?? watashi mo wakaranai, nani o watashi ga motomete iru nodesuka?
sensei ga shiranai kamoshirenai ga, watashi wa AAJ ga daikiraides. tomodachi mo kiraides. mainichi mainichi no onaji koto ga kiraides. tokoroga, nihongo no senseitachi ga daisukidesyo...
ano AAJ wa watashi no dai ichi shiboujanakatta. sensei wa shite imasne? yappari, saisho kara, nyuugakusuru bekijanakatta. motto tanoshi AAJ no seikatsu o kureru to omotta. tokoroga, tsumaranai. watashi wa AAJ ni jaitta koto o koukai shite imas. watashi wa shinyuu ga inai. ajimi san wa watashi no tomodachi des ga, ano dango a tokidoki kurushi no toki, tasukete agemasen. watashi wa itsumo mondai ga aimas...
kazoku ni totte, watashi ga AAJ ni haitta koto wa kazoku ni naka de ichiban ii kotoda. watashi no tameni, eiga o nedoroku shite kureteru. Dakara, AAJ wa yametainante zettai ni ienai. kanashi des... hontouni AAJ ga kiraides. demo, hontou wa nani mo ienai jibun ga ichiban kiraides....
watashi wa jitsuwa ittetsumono des. hontou des. itsumo sensei ni isetsu ga atta. watashi wa jibun no iken o motsu. watashi shitai koto o shimas. shitakunai koto o shimasen. AAJ ni haitta maeni, watashi wa nanimo shiranai, ano AAJ no taihenna kotodes. watashi wa uso o koto o iu ga hajimemas. itsumo uso hanasu o agemas. sumimasendeshita. kowaides. uso o hanashimas. sono tame de aru...
watashi wa nihon no bunka to bungaku to a-to ga ichiban sukides. sensei wa watashi no koto o wakarimas ka? wakarimasenne? watashi mo jibun no koto o wakarimasen. hontouni sekai ni wa mayoimas...
watashi wa wakaranai, naze sensei ni sonna hanasu o agemas. jitsuwa watashi wa sensei o shinjite. sensei wa watashi ni yasashiku agemashita. tokoroga, watashi wa sensei ni mondai o agemashita. hontouni moushiwake arimasen....
demo kamisama dake ga watashi no kibou des. kamisama ga teatte kurereba, watashi wa hontouni tasukaru. tokidoki, watashi wa benkyou o shitai, shitai, shitai, tokidoki, shitakunai....nande? watashi wa ii gakusei no youni naritai desu. shikashi, zutto dekimasen. korewa muri des. watashi wa bakana gakusei des. nihon go ga jouzudewanai. benkyou ga dekimasen. ima w awatashi ga shitakunai koto o shinakerebanarimasen. kurushiiiiii............
sensei wa tasukete agemasenka? sensei mo nani o tasukete ga wakarimasen ne? watashi no mondai ga totemo magirawashii to omette imasenka?
sensei, mou ikkai, iroiro warui koto o sumimasendeshita. gomendou o okakeshite moushiwake arimasen. arigatou gozaimashita.....
shitsureideshita.....
so, for translation u just have to ask ur japanese fren...huhu, coz i might forget what ive wrote in this particular tegami becoz it was one year n a half since this writting....i began to forget japanese little by little becoz i dont really have a fren who can talk japanese with me....huhu, but im learning it back for future undertakings that might somehow or maybe related to this japanese-speaking-world...gambarou!!!!
in my short life-span, i will never forget this terrifying date - 12 of February, 2008, 2 days before valentine day which i never celebrate coz i have my own reasons... long story cut short, im single back, ive been dumped by my gf, n im seriusly injured, but still play cool like nothing happen... she left me with no reasons to break-up......so, in the recovering period, ive listen to all the sad songs about love, break-ups, splits, revenge, hurt, n many more... so, this is the list of great songs to hear just to cheer u up after break-up, to give u motivation that this isnt the end of the world...
1. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING - Lily Allen
The most suitable song after break-up..and as if ur girl is to be blame....The best verse in this song : YOU'VE SEEN ME CRY. TOO MANY TIMES, BUT NOT THIS TIME, NO, NOT THIS TIME, I DONT NEED U TO HELP ME THRU, I'LL BE JUST FINE...I'LL BE JUST FINE....
2. COULD BE ANYTHING - soundtrack of grey's anatomy
Also a good song after break-up but in a slighty different mood-happy...or maybe sad but play cool... The best verse in this song : I CERTAINLY HOPE THAT UR HAPPY, WITH UR NEW CHANGE OF COMPANY, SURROUNDED BY UR ENEMIES....
3. STILL GOT THE BLUES - gary moore
an evergreen song that suits the mood when u still love the girl.... maybe the girl is the best.. The best verse in this song : I FOUND THAT LOVE WAS MORE THAN JUST A GAME, UR PLAYING TO WIN, BUT U LOOSE JUST THE SAME....
4. THANK YOU - dido
A song if no one is to blame. it's just not ur lucky day n everything is over. n shes also a good gurl, there's just no luck. n you want to thank her for all the great times. The best verse : I WANT TO THANK YOU, FOR GIVING ME THE BEST THING OF MY LIFE, OH, JUST TO BE WITH U, IS GIVING ME THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE...
5. BLANK EXPRESSION - lily allen
A song to dedicated to ur girl if when she wants the break-up n she gave u the look - blank. as if she dont really care what u think, n as if shes alrealdy practiced in front of the mirror for many days just to say those hurtful words....The best verse in this song : I KEEP WONDERING, WHERE DID U GET THAT BLANK EXPRESSION ON UR FACE...WHERE DID U GET THE BLANK EXPRESSION ON UR FACE...WHERE DID U GET THE BLANK EXPRESSION ON UR FACE...
6. I DON'T LOVE YOU -my chemical romance
The best song to cry with... just stay indoor, turn on the booster, n hear the lyrics of this songs, and cry along.... a very meaningful song with deeply touching words....and of course the best verse in this song is - SOMETIMES I CRY SO HARD FROM BLEEDING!!!!
7. NE ME QUITTE PAS -nina simone
Another sad sad sad song..suggestion to hear is skip the bedtime stories, replace them with this song..n make sure u read the meaning in english first..huhu.. The title of this song is already explain the whole situation of been left by ur girlfren... NE ME QUITTE PAS...DONT LEAVE ME ALONE...
8. LITTLEST THINGS - lily allen
in love we have a lot of wonderful memories that wont let go... this song also is a sad song..read the lyrics n you know how much it relates to ur own life... the best verse : SOMETIMES I WISH THAT WE COULD PRETEND, EVEN IF ONLY FOR ONE WEEKEND, SO COME ON, TELL ME, IS THIS THE END?
9. APOLOGIZE - one republic feat timbaland
she wants it (break-up), not u. then she wants u back. Pure ridiculous!!! N she thinks that sorry would end everything... bullshit! the best verse : BUT IM AFRAID, ITS TO LATE TOO APOLOGIZE, ITS TOO LATE, WHOO.... just imagine why boys always get dumped..we r the one who play this game sincerely but get played....
10. ROMAN PICISAN - dewa
A great song to define that sometimes u cant get what u want, u can only admired it from far... when, ur love is pure, but ur alone in this whole relationship, she contributes nothing...nothing. but u still wants to have the feeling to love her evendou she doesnt. the best verse in this song : CINTA KU TAK HARUS, MILIKI DIRIMU, MESKI PEDIH MENGHIRIS, DI SEGALA JANJI....
11. DON'T SPEAK - no doubt
related to u when u already define ur gf as ur best fren also when all the secrets r shared n as if shes the only one u trust. n she is about to tell u about the break-up, so shut her mouth n just go away.... u used to be together everyday, n suddenly its over.... the best verse : DONT TELL ME COZ ITS HURT......
12. SMILE - lily allen
the relationship is to be expected to be just fine when suddenly she left u, shes a bitch.. and of coz u want to pay revenge..just do it! the best verse : AT FIRST WHEN I SEE U CRY, IT MAKES ME SMILE.... u just feel great when she cries...PADAN MUKE..
13. HARUS KU TERUSKAN - aliff aziz
A translation of the hit sondtrack of the best japanese drama, one litres of tears called only human...evendou this song is related to someone who have this sickness from God, we can also can apply this song to someone who r just freshly get break-up...normally boys get so upset but girls can surely get over it by only hours n then get hooked by othet guys in seconds..n boys get so so so upset for months, or maybe years...so this song is kinda a motivational song to bring u up again n stay away from suicide n get over it and start a fresh new live without that bitch!!! the best verse : TIDAK TERTANGGUNG BEBAN DIALAMI, MENGAPA TERJADI SEBEGINI.... TIADA GUNA BERTANYA SEMUA YANG TERJADI, JANJI KU KEPADA DIRI, HIDUP HARUS AKU TERUSKAN, TUHAN BERIKAN SINAR HARAPAN, HEMBUSKAN SUATU KEKUATAN, KU MOHON JAUHKAN DARI KEGELAPAN INI... AGAR BISA AKU TERUSKAN..... a very touching song..seriusly deep...
14. EVERYBODY'S CHANGING - lily allen
we can never see future n prediction cant be persistly correct. so, everbody changes by time... this a song when everybody changes including ur girl n nothing seems rite on track.... the best verse : YOU SAID U WANT OUR OWN LIFE, BUT WHEN I THINK ABOUT IT, I CANT SEE HOW U CAN... UR ACHING, UR BREAKING, N I CAN SEE THE PAIN IN UR EYES.....
15. FRIEND OF MINE - lily allen
also a song when ur already accept that ur girl is ur best pal. not ur best fren is ur girlfren, ok, ur girlfren is ur best fren, different approach different meaning.... suitable for girls who back-stab u and a two-timer, n she flirt with u fren behind u...FUCK!!! the best verse in this song : TELL ME WHAT DID U EXPECT, HAVE U GOT NO SELF RESPECT, REPUTATION TO PROTECT.....
16. TAKE WHAT U TAKE - lily allen
A lovely song to express hatred to ur x. she is to blame n u hate her more than anything now. u dont care about her anymore, u dont care what she thinks about u, n u just wanna get rid her in ur life. the best verse : WHAT THE FUCK THAT U NOE, JUST DO U THINK UR WISE, WHO THE HELL R U DOU, I DIDNT EVEN ASK FOR UR ADVICE, U WANNA KEEP UR MOUTH SHUT, U WANNA TAKE UR THOUGHTS ELSEWHERE, COZ IT DOESNT MATTER NOW, N DO U THINK I CARE?
17. MENGHAPUS JEJAKMU - peterpan
to forget the pain n get over it! this song is all about that... u dont want anything related to her anymore as if ur in one class n u wanna change ur class or change course or even move from that university... the best verse : ENGKAU BUKANLAH SEGALAKU, BUKAN TANPAMU HENTIKAN LANGKAHKU, SESUDAH SEMUA BERLALU, BIAR HUJAN MENGHAPUS JEJAKMU, TERUSKAN LANGKAH LUPAKAN MU....
18. EVERYTHING'S WONDERFUL - lily allen
A great mood to forget everything....n have a cheerful life as single..be positive, trust in God, just be fine n wonderful.... theres always a door open when a door closed.... the best verse : OH YES, IM FINE, EVERTHING'S JUST WONDERFUL, IM HAVING A GREAT TIME OF MY LIFE....
19. NAIVE - lily allen
A song when ur girl is so damn stupi d that she can do more to contribute to this relationship. u want to blame her but u just feel that no one is to be blame in situation... the best verse : I MIGHT SAY THAT IT WAS UR FAULT COZ I NOE THAT U COULD DONE MORE, OH, UR SO NAIVE, U SO, HOW COULD THIS BE DONE, WITH SUCH A SMILE N SWEET HEART, OH N UR SWEET N PRETTY FACE!
20. SHAME ON YOU - lily allen
ur single now n u believe in whats comes around comes around... so, dont worry, she will pay for the things she done to u, just be cool....the best verse : IVE BEEN THINKING THAT UVE CROSS THE LINE, IF U DISAGREE, IT WILL BE JUST FINE, COZ U WASTED MY TIME N WASTE MY MONEY, N UR NOT TOO COOL N NOT SO FUNNY..
21. TENTANG KITA - underground band (forgot the name, sorry!)
this is the last song to be introduced.. read the lyrics then u noe this suits everything when break-up...
DI MANA KACA YANG BERSERPIHAN,
BIAR AKU PIJAKKAN,
DI MANA TAUFAN YANG BERTIUPAN,
BIAR AKU HADAPKAN.....
KERNA SEMUA SUDAH TIADA ERTINYA...
TENTANG CINTA SUDAH TIADA MAKNANYA,
TENTANG KITA ELOK DILUPAKAN SEMUA....HA....HU.....
DIMANA LAUT YANG BERGELORA,
KAN KU REDAH SEMUA,
DIMANA LETAKNYA CINTA KITA,
KAN KU PIJAK SEMUANYA,
KERNA SEMUA SUDAH TIADA ERTINYA,,,
TENTANG CINTA SUDAH TIADA MAKNANYA...
TENGTANG KITA ELOK DILUAPAKN SEMUA....HA....HU....
Im not really into novels or even any kind of book esp educational books. But one day in Popular bookstore, my sis n i just discovered one really brilliant novel from a new novelist. The front cover was really captivating; a picture of a very cute girl with blonde hair. As for the back cover, shes wearing a hijab n cover her blonde hair. Sounds intersting yeah? Split identity maybe? no-lah...
(Different version of front cover) TEN THINGS I HATE ABOUT ME was the title of that 303 pages-novel. not really a love novel, but still project some interesting theme bout muslim world in a non-muslim region. Its kinda sad that book's cover is pink colour makes me wanna read it only in private place..huhu. Lets have some sypnosis of this novel, shall we?
" TEN THINGS I HATE ABOUT ME : Who am I? Jamie or Jamilah? At school i'm Aussie-blonde Jamie- one of the crowd. At home i'm Muslim Jamilah - driven mad by stone age dad. I should win an Oscar for my acting skills. But I can't keep it up for much longer..."
Huhu, isnt it sounded so so mystery to noe the content? This novel was the second novel wrote by this very hot (i mean really damn hot) novelist, named Randa Abdel-Fattah. The first was DOES MY HEAD LOOK BIG IN THIS? Sypnosis- "High school is tough enough without throwing a hijab into the mix... 15 year old Amal's decision to wear the Muslim veil full-time takes a lot of guts. Can she cope with the prejudice, keep her friends, and still attract the cutest boy in school?" cool isnt it, the first novel?
Randa Abdel-Fattah is a 27 year old lawyer. Her first novel received much critical acclaim when it was published in 2006. It won the Australian Book of the 
Year for Older Children in the same year. Grew up in Melbourne, but now lives in sydney where sehe is active in the inter-faith community. She is also a member of Palestinian human rights campaigns and the Australian Arabic Council. She loves travelling to Egypt and Palestine and being spoilt by relatives, watching romandic comedies, her husband's sense of humour, getting a seat on the train, and any movie starring Colin Firth. Rand has a baby daughter. Cute!
If u r interested in reading this novel, im recommending it to you, bought it. Its only RM 42.90. I noe, kinda expensive...but try to buy it, of coz using ur own money...its fun!
Kita selalu mengambil mudah isu alam sekitar. Kerapkali kita terbaca tentang isu pembuangan sisa toksik yang tidak bertanggungjawab di dada-dada akhbar, mahupun di akaca TV, malah sering berlaku di sekeliling kita, dan yang paling menyedihkan, kita sama-sama TERLIBAT!
Kerana... kita masih dengan sikap 'tak-pa' tidak mahu membendungnya, oleh itu kita sama-sama bersalah, sama seperti individu-individu yang melakukannya.
Buatlah perubahan hari ini. Terapkan keprihatinan anda sekarang! Jika curiga, laporkan! Talian hotline : 1-800-88-2727
"TABIAT 'TAK-PA' BUMI BINASA"
"ALAM SEKITAR... TANGGUNGJAWAB ANDA!"
Kementerian Sumber Asli dan Alam Sekitar
a song called 'bila aku sudah tiada' , my favourite band now! this song is created for u n me...
Hujan - Bila Aku Sudah Tiada
Bila, aku sudah tiada
Simpan semua lagu ku
Jangan di tangis selalu
Mungkin, itu sementara
Bila jumpa pengganti ku
jangan di lupakan aku
Pagi itu indah seperti biasa
Tidur yang lena terhenti di sana
Layap kuyu masih tak terdaya
Bukalah tingkap mu
Curahkan cahaya…
Siapa yang sangka
Bila tiba masa kita
Untuk pergi selamanya
Takkan terduga
Jika saat ni
Tuhan tentukan
Aku lah orangnya
Gelak tawa tangisan yang hiba
Kenangan kita masa di dunia
Alangkah indahnya jika
Kita mampu hidup selamanya…
This is what actually happened on the 10th june of 2007, when Jimmy, our beloved brother leaves us forever to the afterlife world, the internal life. Jimmy who were with us for more than 4 years died in my room, beside my bed. Jimmy died, I called kirei, shes not answering. so i message her.
-Kirei, u kat ner? I need u.
-I tried 2 call. Tak dpt. Where
r u? I really need u. really.
Kalau boleh, call me.
Then, i called Hazwan n cried for 34 seconds. next, i called Mak (my aunt who i used to called her mak-mother). Later, I got one sms from hazwan :
-Plz jgn bersdh.. i knw hw it
feels 2 lose sth u luv..i2
adalah tarbiyah dr 2han...
That very afternoon after we had our breakfast near the beach, my sister, Aqees Lee send me one sms:
-Abg, jimmy mati kul bp?
Tanam kat ne?
was to sad to reply, i asked my mom to call her. so she did..
That very night, my sis send me another sms :
-Akum. Cehat ke? Jimmy
mati kol bp? Tnm kat
blakang rmh kat ne?
-Tak. Subuh. Blakang umah.
-muke die ms mati cmne? Die
mati kat mn? Bdn die sjk x?
Adik dh x de adik lg..
Sedeynye...
-Keras, mate terbukak.
Bilik abg. tak sgt.
-Siannye... Die dh x leh mkn r
waktu pg2? X pe drp trus
tseksa, take care n
remember da 10th of june..
In memory jimmy R.I.P.
-R i p 2 ape?
-Rest in peace... kat next life.
Cam g2 la...
-G tidurla. Bye...
Kirei then later at that afternoon sms me back, a reply so late...
-Kirei br bkk phone. Why?
-Jimmy. Hes gone.
-Oh. Siannye...
I was so angry i didnt reply.
-R u ok? Kirei tgh busy skrg.
Xsempat nk call onii. Im so
sorry for jimmy..
I didnt reply coz im damn angry...later that evening...
-Askum. How r u?
i just play dumb n doing nothing....then, ive received one sms from Maxis.....huhu
-Sms from 32001
Friend finder. You have a
request from **********
to access your location
information from now on.
To accept, reply with OK to
32001.
Angry totallt angry...i just ignored that sms n didnt even bother to reply n say OK.
late that very nite, hazwan send me a message again :
-B patient n redha with ur
loss.. may god b with u.. merci!
he has his exam the following day but still spend sometime to entertain me not like kirei....!!! huhu..
A fantasy of mine adapted in this short story i wrote a few months ago...hope u'll enjoy it!
That day Leen called me from Australia. She said she had found her beloved Lian Jen. Lian Jen had finally changed his name coz hes a christian now. Now, hes known as Nicholas Lee. Thanks to Nicholas's aunt who was shopping in the Reeds, where Leen bumped into her arms. Luckily Leen still recognised that aunt's face evendou that old lady had gain weight more 20 pauns. Aunt Katy was her name. Aunt katy told her that Nicholas r now studying in the national u there. So, Leen looked for him and walla....she found him.
Nicholas was really damn suprised coz Leen struggle much alike just to come to australia far away from Malaysia with her unborn-6-months-baby...baby boy. huhu. He was really damn stupid to ask her whose baby shes carrying there? huh! Without any doubt he asked again, "Paan's baby, isn't it?" Damn stupid! As a soft girl, she hugged 
nicholas n said that she was there only for nicholas n she said, "the only one i need n love is u!"
That time i was really sure that im a little bit emo n i was a little unsure how i feel. I dont really hate her nor mad at her. I just dont noe..That time she called me, i wasnt really want to talk to her but shes my x-fiancee. I have to treat her well enough to make sure no complaints from her comes to my grandma. Its not Leen who i was angry with, its Lian Jen. We were best friends back in our highscool's years... How dare he betrayed me n then just flew to Australia leaving me n Leen behind.
TO BE CONTINUE.....HUHU
Oh my God!!! i was so excited to tell u this..but maybe tou its nothing much, but to me, its huge... evendou this event occured like many months before, im still excited till today...huhu
ok, on d 22nd of may, 2007, after more than 2 months my best friend, ajim left me for japan, ive received a phone call from an unknown number. my handphone was far away from me but my watch was near..haha, n it was about 8.30 pm.
i usually dont pick up phone calls from strangers or unknown number but i dont noe why im excited, curious n at the same time-clueless. n it was ajim on the other line....feeling very very happy to receive this call from overseas (japan), we talk for almost 10 minutes 13 seconds...
actually that was my first time someone far far away from malaysia ever called me, so im totally out of my mind, talking mostly rubbish, laughing, screaming our heads off n exchange stories as usual. feeling very warm n near to heart as i was beginning to miss him a lot evendou it was just 2 months ago.
in addition, ajim also gave me a surprise- to talk with one of his korean friends he met in his toyohashi university of technology. so, he was he ; a boy...not a girl...nvm. this is apart of what he said to me:
"moshi moshi. konbanwa. nihongo ga amari jouzudewanai. ima wa mareshia ni imasuka? eto... kokusai denwa wa... ano... okane no mondai ga aru." then, i answered back, "hi, wakarimashita."
it was totally funny as this korean guy speaks japanese in a funny way, i guess malaysians speak japanese better than this poor guy. ok translation :-hello, good evening. my japanese is not very good. r u in malaysia rite now? urm...calling from overseas....urm...is related to money problem.... haha, so, i knew there will always be a money problem for student to call from overseas, so, that very call from nihon was really a short one....but as far as today, ive been receiving calls from ajim more than ten times, sometimes more than half n hour. so, i guess the first leads to the rest n every call from him, i will get so excited like he is near me like before. really miss the best moments together with u, ajim...thanks for calling me n ples call me again....n again...huhu
ok. this is d story about one boy-unknown....a piece of the whole writting of him in his diary...
I dont wanna die. Im still young. I dont know. this brain tumor is getting bigger to huge. as if there is a weightlifter on my head. Headache is a norm for me. the worst was that day; starting from the moment i wake up till the night i felt the pain. its like God's gonna take my life that very moment. Panadol (paracetamol) isn't working enough. Ponstan? Nah! useless; adding more pain.
my hair started to fall in great numbers, like the leaves in autum. each time i bath and shampooing, my hair become lesser. being bole maybe at the end. feeling so don when i think about my hair that probably would end up like britney spears' ; of coz naturally bold-lah...
I was pretty sure that the hair loss was the only changes that happened but when one day, the mirror discovered something else ; me eyes!!! they r getting worst. that stupid MO said that my specs is not suitable for my eyes nomore.. my white eyes become darker and redish. when i threw away my specs, i can see nothing ; i cant even see my own hands ; barely can see other things... would this brain tumor effects my ability to see the world???
thats all for now...pity boy! is this gonna be a hit japanese drama sooner or later as the 'one litre of tears 2'....huhu, i dont knoe. just hope n wish that boy would appreciate whats left in his remaining lifespan...
It's been more than 4 months since i wrote my last blog. So, to start again i just need a warm-up topic to write. Suicide sounds really good for a beginning... actually i just wanna share with y'all one article i read about suicidal..this is only a portion of that article as far as i remembered.
PHILOSOPHICAL STUDY OF SUICIDE
SUICIDE IS ANY FORM OF SELF-KILLING. SEVERAL WAYS INCLUDING HANGING, GUN SHOOTING, FALL FROM BUILDING N ETC. SEVERE CASES HAS BEEN CONCLUDE AS NOT MURDER ITSELF AS THE MURDERER WAS HIMSELF/HERSELF. SO, CASES LIKE THAT ARE GOOD ENOUGH TO PREVENT THE EXTENSES OF TIME. SO, IF ONE SELF IS WANTED TO HAVE SUICIDE, HE OR SHE SHOULD BE OK WITH IT...
I just love the last sentence, "he or she should be ok with it." Just plain great. talking about suicide cases around the world, it may caused by heavy depression, massive sadness of loss, hyper-tension, stress n etc. In many cases, person that commit suicide sometimes left behind messages, letters, memos that can strongly suggested that his or her death is being organised.
I find suicidal as interesting as it sounds. Ive been thru this experience before when i was in a boarding school with lots lots of problems that lead me to an option of suicide. When one cannot make any right judgement, not considering one's belief to God, suicidal is sure to be the last resort. Whoever have faith with religion may know thats suicidal 'victims' r going STRAIGHT to hell. Ohww...u r going to be fuel of the flames. Sounds cool for some people as they thought of having infinate freedom after commiting suicide...
I was young when i thought suicide was accepted in society, not knowing that taking my own life with my own bare hands r totally immoral n unacceptable. Taking one's life has been the job of The Angel of Death (SakaratulMaut) with God's permission. Some may call that Shinigami (The God of Death). One's life n destiny has been written far before existance, so life n death is not in our hands to decide, even some may want to die faster for some reasons...
ok. i love to write as u all know. lately in english. haha. kinda weak when im writing in bahasa or japanese. d second free writing i wrote in uitm was titled- DRUG... enjoy n comment!
DRUG
I was walkin down d street to Berjaya Times Square when i bumped into Wei Han in front of d old gate of Pudu Jail. It was indeed a very "excellent" setting to even remembered my dirty old days with him.
Wei Han was my classmate in math class in our form 3 period. Luckily,that time i was succesfully blended with d other students. Wei Han do drugs and even sell or supply drugs to d others. I remembered d first day he gave me my first packet of esctacy. It's for free becoz he thought that it would be nice to have me in the group-selling n distributin drugs in school it was a bad idea but i agreed. i knew it was a wrg decision sine it can lead me to jal. but it was d most perfect time for me to "shine". My family were havin huge problems financially, technically. so, i get spoilt, my own way. selling n using that shit.
no one ever knows that i would sell those stuffs becoz that time i was totally nerd,kinda like a bokworm. i even got the position of the quartermaster of librarian in the next few months. yeah, library is my place. n it turned to be my market. students who came to me, get what they want. i dont get d money. its for the sake of having fun. i only get free packets of esctacy, the most cheapest drug in the market. that time, it was rm3.50 per tablet.
things turn badly when i started to sell drugs in the hostel. the words spreads mouth by mouth n one day i ws caught red-handed. some "reporters" reported the news n that very night, they done some spot-checks. n i get caught. the warden sent me home instanly. my mom was rying all day long as she kenw that i will be no more living in that hostel n schooling in that high school.
but i was a few months to , pmr is just around d corner. d hostel management dont want me anymore but the school insisted on/in having me as d student of that school untill i finished my pmr. luckily, they dont put any charged to me. so, i stopped even Wei Han forced n forced me to help him sell.
i have changed in few mnths, totally changed. when d result was announced, i was one of the excellent students who got straight As in their pmr. mom was proud of me. i couldnt be happier coz i stopped taking esctacy. i gained weight becoz i suddenly have big appetite. then, we moved to malacca.
its been 4 years since my last esctacy. then, Wei Han turn back into my life. he's no more a drug dealer but he is now a university student. he changed a lot too. im happy for him. n instead of selling drugs, i decided tohelp people out of this problems. drugs can lead to crimeslike suicide, murder, rape n even disease like AIDS. i dont want to be like that.
that very moment when i think ive changed but i was totally wrong. i still want to do drugs but something stopped me. when i went for blood donation n my univesity, something bad happened. as usual after donating blod, the nurse will give me a packet of folic acid, 6 tablets n a packet of ferrous fumarate, also 6 tablets. i didnt noticed there's something wrong untill the next day. the spot where the blod comes out turned tblue n it lookedlike bruces. it is so ugly that i can imagined that is how my hands will look like when i do drugs more than just esctacy. then, i quit. no more drugs.
-THE END-
the story still remain half-true. haha. spot the not again. as usual, that baba n nyonya lecturer gave me a comment, bu this time, it was a little short, "u r good at story-telling, farhan." thats all! i dont mind that but someone stupid in my studio wrote "BANGANG" on my paper sheet. that makes me piss-off. untill today, the writer of that word remain a mystery...huhu
ok, just get rid of that low self-esteem problem... the only thing that i think i can do best is writing...(maybe?)...esp, in english but of coz with numerous grammar errors...hahaha
thats why my favourite lesson would be english. in uitm, i wrote one story when the lecturer asked us to do free-writing. so, i decided to write something about my family with a little twiss here n there....titled - GRANDMA AND RACISM. i cant think about other titles... have any suggestions once u read it? ok, below is the story, kindly read it n simply make ur own comments... ok, forget the grammar errors coz im typing it with short-forms..hehehe
GRANDMA AND RACISM
i was sittin in my huge family gathering the other day with quite a few guys whose watches probably cost more than my t-shirt, and my grandma said something that really frosted my oyster. Sitting opposite me on the other side of the majestic oval table was a chinese girl with some other people who i couldnt remembered their names.
"she is ur fiancee, Leen." Grandma said while pointing her wrinkly finger at the girl. i was pretty sure that she was talking to me by the way she looked at me. i was shocked but the others just smile knowingly. i doubted that the others didnt knew about it.
this wasnt the first time she tries to act like a joker even though she usually dont laugh or even smile when the others joke. the other day in 2003, my family n i moved to malacca. guess what? my grandma wants to gather all her heirs back in malacca. it was the chinese new year's eve when she invited us into a huge family gathering just to have a dinner. it seems so awkward coz my family never celebrates chinese new year. i thought it was like a normal dinner. the dinner ended with ttal chaos and disaster as she reveals her secretly kept announcement.
"ive been keeping this little secret for a long time." then, she stopped n gasp for some air.
"we r indeed, the family of cina peranakan. in other words baba n nyonya.."
little secret? what a phrase to use. my mother who is he daughter-in-law of the family just moping silently. knowing the fact that i am half baba n nyonya really made me flummoxed. i was feeling very very very comfortable and proud of myself as thought that i am pure malay.
i used to be racist back in my high school years; a result of my annoying math teacher. i wouldnt give up my seat on a bus even for an old lady or even for a pregnant woman just becoz she was not malay. being a student in a school which practices rasicm rally made me a total jerk/scum. i guess i was totally morally bankrupt.
now, that i know that the blod that runs in my vein is a mixture of clture; baba n nyonya, bugis n boyan, i dont have any reason to be racist to the others as i have learnt to be moderate, kind. everytime i plan to do something racist, i quickly remember that im apart of them, esp to chinese. even some chinese r good n kind to malay. so, why should i be racist?
now that my grandma's gone i realized how much she taught me. like how not to treat other people badly.
-THE END-
how was it? boring? whatever....anyway, the story remained half true. its normal for a story to have a little fiction yet also have the truth there. guess whats not? hehehe.... guess what? the lecturer comment was "its a joy n cause for celebration when people accept n care for one another, farhan... im glad yove come this far in ur experience n acceptance of our race." the lecturere was a baba n nyonya lady.......hehehe.. lovely too!
i hate myself for being so so so DAMN UGLY...... i wanna die... God...... why am i ugly? each time i pass by a mirror, i just dont wnt to have a look... coz i noe the person im looking at r the worst thing the world can ever see...
i dont noe why these days i have this kind of feeling of somethin bad may happen to me. if this were to be my last post, im sorry guys... i just feel so down... i feel like dying.... my self-esteem has gone down from 80 % to 0 %.... im doomed..
im stupid...im nothing..n i better go away from this world n live in my own world...goodbye.. 27/05/2007, 1.17 am
Taking a ride one day on a rapid kl bus to kl from shah alam reminds me about the day i met one guy on the same bus to kl. He was tall, fair, spiky hair and quite cute too. I guess he must be somekind of model tru his smart outfit. Then, i looked at myself up and down, compairing each other. Yeah, i looked like some trash with a scarecrow's outfit that can make people screamed just to look at me. SELEKEH....! And i wonder if one day i would ever be like him..maybe? maybe not? why not?
With a height of 173 cm and weights 82/78 kg, and bmi's status as marginally overweight, will i ever ever be a model? or even a better person, better than now? yeah, im fat...but i once was a tall-lean boy when i was in form 1. a result of home-sick after entering boarding-school...sort of! So, why not be a tall-lean boy again? i can definitely get back my body if i work hard. but im such a lazy boy...
Being fat and being ignored by people around u will make u feel lonely without attention. me? yeah. one of my dreams is to walk in public with confidence- same like Peter Parker when he shows his dark side. just look the way he walks down town. cool!!! if life is easier like photoshop, i would like to crop my body that easy...
But when i think about modeling...why not? but when i think again, i've lack several things that a model needs to be one. esp my body.... just look at me. Fat, that's one thing. but if i can get back my body of 62kg, there are still a lot missing, like :
1. i have a small nose, not pointed nose.
2. my right ear looks like the elf in lord of the rings.
3. i dont really have good skin, esp my face. hairy....
4. my lips used to be like negro or even ning baizura's. and quite dry too.
5. i have a pair of ugly feet. broad, not long..
6. my nails and fingers look like i am a construction worker, wrinkles..
7. i have a pair of broken eyes... not that white.
8. and most importantly, i have a very very very very very messy hair,
curly but not that curly, not long but like bushes, and ugly too.....
What to do? i think the first thing to do is stop saying those crap things and learn to appreciate myself, my body, my life that God has given me. then, try to change get a better life.. i wanna be like the time when i was in form one. impossible? nah!!! trust me! give me at least, another sem..yeah!
