Modeling for me? maybe not?

     Taking a ride one day on a rapid kl bus to kl from shah alam reminds me about the day i met one guy on the same bus to kl. He was tall, fair, spiky hair and quite cute too. I guess he must be somekind of model tru his smart outfit. Then, i looked at myself up and down, compairing each other. Yeah, i looked like some trash with a scarecrow's outfit that can make people screamed just to look at me. SELEKEH....! And i wonder if one day i would ever be like him..maybe? maybe not? why not?

     With a height of 173 cm and weights 82/78 kg, and bmi's status as marginally overweight, will i ever ever be a model? or even a better person, better than now? yeah, im fat...but i once was a tall-lean boy when i was in form 1. a result of home-sick after entering boarding-school...sort of! So, why not be a tall-lean boy again? i can definitely get back my body if i work hard. but im such a lazy boy...

    Being fat and being ignored by people around u will make u feel lonely without attention. me? yeah. one of my dreams is to walk in public with confidence- same like Peter Parker when he shows his dark side. just look the way he walks down town. cool!!! if life is easier like photoshop, i would like to crop my body that easy...

     But when i think about modeling...why not? but when i think again, i've lack several things that a model needs to be one. esp my body.... just look at me. Fat, that's one thing. but if i can get back my body of 62kg, there are still a lot missing, like :

     1. i have a small nose, not pointed nose.

     2. my right ear looks like the elf in lord of the rings.

     3. i dont really have good skin, esp my face. hairy....

     4. my lips used to be like negro or even ning baizura's. and quite dry too.

     5. i have a pair of ugly feet. broad, not long..

     6. my nails and fingers look like i am a construction worker, wrinkles..

     7. i have a pair of broken eyes... not that white.

     8. and most importantly, i have a very very very very very messy hair,

         curly but not that curly, not long but like bushes, and ugly too.....

     What to do? i think the first thing to do is stop saying those crap things and learn to appreciate myself, my body, my life that God has given me. then, try to change get a better life.. i wanna be like the time when i was in form one. impossible? nah!!! trust me! give me at least, another sem..yeah!